This Sunday is Mothering Sunday; perhaps a day when we usually get together with our wider families. It will have a special poignancy for many of us this year as we may be living in isolation or in an enforced separation from our parents or our children. We may be anxiously thinking of our elderly mothers or parents, desperately praying that they will keep well.
I want to think briefly about the cost of motherhood, and the cost of love in general; reflecting on the cost of love for Mary and the cost of love for God, and what that might say to us in our love for our families, our love for one another as a Christian community and our care for a suffering world.
If those of us who are Mums were asked whether it was a wonderful thing being a Mum, I expect we'd all say 'yes'. We might think of images of tiny babies curled in our arms with their fresh baby smell; cheeky toddlers reaching up to us in confidence and trust; shared outings and picnics and birthdays; children's curious questions about life and the universe and everything; the wonder as we see the unique personality and character, gifts and interests of each child develop as they grow older; and above all, the deepening bonds of intimacy, friendship and love.
But if we were asked whether it was sometimes difficult and painful being a Mum, I expect we'd also say 'yes'! We might think of sleepless nights and colic; the exhaustion of dealing with the inevitable tantrums; anxiety over childhood illnesses and accidents; frustration over how to respond to teenage grumpiness and rebellion; ongoing concerns about their studies, health and future; the realisation that a Mum (or Dad!) never stops worrying about their children however old they are!
The truth is that - for most Mums anyway - being a mother can be both a wonderful and, at times, a painful experience. And as we think of the joys and pains we may have experienced we may want especially to remember those we know who have tragically lost children, or faced the ongoing ache of never being able to have them.
Being a Mum can be both a joyful and a painful experience. This was certainly true for Mary, Jesus' mother. When Jesus was still a young baby she was warned that he would bring her not only joy but pain. You'll remember that when she and Joseph take the young Jesus to present him in the temple as was customary, the old man Simeon takes Jesus in his arms and rejoices that he will be 'the light to lighten the Gentiles and the glory of his people Israel'. But he also warns Mary that 'a sword will pierce your own soul too' - words which come painfully true for Mary.
Mary must have known all the joys and struggles of motherhood in bringing Jesus up; and, no doubt, she was filled with pride and wonder at the things he said and did and the man he became, even if sometimes he puzzled her and she couldn't understand him. But she also had to bear terrible pain - unthinkable pain - as she watched her son suffer and die on the cross, as we read in our gospel reading this Sunday. John doesn't describe Mary's feelings, but we can imagine what unbearable agony she must have gone through as she watched Jesus' torturous death on the cross. In a way it is beyond imagining of thinking about. A sword certainly pierced Mary's soul, as the old man Simeon foretold.
Mary's experience is very different from ours, but all mothers (and fathers) will know something, not only of the joy, but also of the pain, of love. Love is a joyful but a costly business. Of course, all love is costly, not only a mother's love. If we care for others deeply, whether that is children, parents, siblings, friends, husband or wife, then we will suffer pain when those relationships are difficult, when we are separated from those we love, or when those we care about are frail, or sick or dying. The only way we avoid the cost of love is not to love in the first place.
This Sunday is Mothering Sunday and next Sunday is Passion Sunday when we enter into Passiontide, coming up to Holy Week when we remember the suffering of Christ and God's love shown for us through the cross. I think it is very fitting that Mothering Sunday and Passion Sunday are only a week apart. Because as we think about a mother's love - its joys and its cost - we are reminded that God's love for us, too, is also a costly business. God's love for us, like a mother's love, involves both joy and pain.
There are several motherly images for God in the Bible. God is described as a mother eagle in Deuteronomy, and Jesus likens himself to a mother hen, in Luke's gospel. But perhaps the most powerful words are in the book of Isaiah when God says, through the prophet:
Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?
Even these may forget, yet I will never forget you.
See I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.
We all know, from terrible news bulletins from time to time of mothers who neglect or abuse their children, that mothers can forget their children and worse....but God's love will never fail us. When I hear those words 'see I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands' I cannot but think of Jesus with the nails through his hands on the cross. God is not detached from the suffering of the world, but bears that suffering, and takes it upon himself. God loves us to the uttermost and his love costs him everything, as Christ pours out his life for us on the cross. We need to hold on to God's love for the world in this time of pain and crisis.
This love challenges us in the way we live. In the words of our reading from Colossians, we are called, as God's chosen people; to live with 'compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience; bearing with each other and forgiving one another'. The love that God shows to us supremely on the cross is the kind of love which should characterise us in our relationships with one another as his people. Just as Mary and the beloved disciple are brought together at the foot of the cross, so we too are drawn together as God's people by the cross. He is our peace. His is the love which binds us together.
Of course, at this strange time, we cannot physically be together as God's people. Our love for one another is shown by keeping our distance from one another to especially protect the elderly and vulnerable. But though we are at a physical distance from one another this doesn't mean we can't show that compassionate, kind and patient love for one another by ringing one another up, offering to shop for those who cannot go out, and constantly keeping one another before God in prayer. It is my hope and prayer that during this time when we cannot meet together, we may nevertheless grow in our sense of commitment to one another and know afresh our unity in Christ.
So today, let us give thanks for our mothers and the costly love we have received from them. Let us remember all mothers in the joys and struggles of motherhood, especially remembering those who face intense suffering in their love for their children - those who have to watch their children face terrible illness, or be injured or killed through famine or violence. And as we remember mothers' (and fathers') protective and costly love for their children, we are also aware today that for many families this role is now reversed, and it is children who are anxiously concerned to love and protect their elderly parents especially from the threat of the coronavirus.
But we also give thanks today for the steadfast and costly love of God; the love we see supremely in Jesus' suffering and death on the cross, remembering that his love is with us always. As we receive his love, let us seek to live in his love in all our relationships with our families, our spouses, our parents, our children (and our grandchildren). I know that marriages and family relationships are put under intense pressure in this time of confinement; we need to pray for a deeper awareness of God's love for us so that we might live out that love, with compassion, kindness, patience and forgiveness, within our families, and in the family of the church, during this testing time. We trust ourselves, our families, our church community, this country of Switzerland and all the countries we come from, and a suffering world to the God who loves us.
Amen.
Revd Helen Marshall