I wonder if you've ever played the word association game. One person says a word and the next person says whatever word the first word prompts them to think of, and so on and so on. So the first person might say 'mountain', the second person 'snow', and the third person 'skiing'. That's a very Swiss version. An English version might be that the first person says 'fish' and the second person 'chips' and the third person 'tomato sauce' - or perhaps 'cholesterol'! Often the words are commonly associated together but sometimes someone says something which seems completely unrelated - but obviously is not unrelated in their own mind.
In our Gospel reading today we have some words which we would often associate with each other, like 'love' and 'joy' and 'friends', but the two words which are most often put together are 'love' and 'commandment'. These may well be words that we would not often think of together; we may even see them as in tension with each other.
Isn't love about spontaneity, freedom, following our feelings rather than any kind of rules? And isn't obeying commandments about being subjected to another, being under their control and power? How can that be anything to do with love, we might think? But Jesus repeatedly tells his disciples in these chapters of John's gospel that if they love him they will obey him, and that they are commanded to love one another. Another of our readings this morning, from the first letter of John, makes the same point: 'for the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments.'
For Jesus himself these two words are obviously connected: 'If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love....' 'This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.' Love and obedience are tied up together. If we love Jesus, we will obey him; in obedience to him, we will love one another.
However, we can only understand Jesus' command to love one another and to live in obedience to him, when we understand his love for us. Jesus' command is to love one another 'as I have loved you.' His love for us comes first. We see the nature of his love in the way he relates to others, the way he welcomes marginalised and forgotten people – think of the despised tax collectors and prostitutes Jesus spends time with. We see his love as he forgives and heals those who may have thought of themselves as beyond forgiveness and healing. He offers the chance of a whole new start and new relationships – think of Zacchaeus, the cheating tax collector, whose encounter with Jesus led to a complete change of life; think of the woman caught in adultery facing a brutal death by stoning, who receives from Jesus forgiveness, dignity and her very life, and of Peter, who although he denied Jesus and made a mess of things was lovingly forgiven and given even greater responsibility. And of course, supremely, we see in Jesus a love which costs everything, as he undergoes torture and death out of love for the Father and love for us. In his own words: 'Noone has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends'.
This is the one we are called to love and obey. We are not called to love and obey a despot, but one who has given his all in love for us. As we heard last Sunday, Abraham learned to trust and obey the God who had already entrusted himself to him in covenant friendship (Isaiah 41:8). In the same way, Jesus doesn't ask of us the compelled obedience of slaves, but the eager, intelligent obedience of friends. 'You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.' Jesus calls his disciples into the intimacy of friendship with him, to share with him in the purposes of the Father.
We are not servants who have to obey, but friends who want to obey. In this we are to echo Jesus' own loving obedience to the Father. Remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane; 'Abba, Father, remove this cup from me, yet not my will but yours be done.' Jesus' obedience to the Father, though very costly, was not compelled but offered freely. Jesus offers us a different model of love and obedience from that of the world around us.
Love and obedience are not opposites, even though it is very improbable that we would put those words together in a word association game. We might also be unlikely to associate obedience and joy. Yet, Jesus also speaks of joy as he calls his disciples to keep his commandments. In the Christian life, love and joy, and obedience and discipline belong together. We don't find joy by searching after it as an end in itself, but we may be surprised by joy as we commit ourselves to obeying God's will. For Jesus, keeping the Father's commandments leads to love, joy and fruitfulness.
'I appointed you to go and bear fruit,' he says to his disciples. Jesus has earlier used the image of the vine and the branches to teach his disciples that they must abide in him. 'Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.' Just as the branch can only live if it's connected to the living vine, so our life is dependent totally on God. Our life and love come out of his life and love. If we are to love one another, we need to be rooted in Christ's love for us, to abide in him. To 'abide' isn't a word we use much nowadays, but it means to live with, to stay with. It doesn't mean paying a quick visit once in a while, but living with, day in, day out.
How can we do this, live in Christ and his love, day in, day out? We can make sure we are fed and nourished regularly by the Eucharist, find time to read the Bible and to pray. All of us could no doubt find more time to do these things – it all depends really on how important we think they are. Once we realise these disciplines will help us grow in love as the people God wants us to be, we will turn to them more and more - and they will become a part of a willing obedience.
As we pray, and are fed by word and sacrament, we open ourselves up more and more to the love of God, allowing that love to direct and guide us in our relationships with one another. This is not always easy; the love Christ calls us to ultimately leads us to lay down our life for our friends. We may not be called to do this literally, though there have been Christian martyrs down the centuries, and many in our world today, who have done just that, following the Lord they love. But there are countless small ways that we may be called to lay down our lives, our egos, our petty wants and preferences, for the sake of others.
The fruit of our lives is in the end up to God; we are called to root ourselves in his love and to seek to live out his commandment to love one another as he has loved us. And, in living in obedience to his love, we may be surprised by a deep joy.
Jesus says: 'I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.'
Helen Marshall